You'll Always Be a Part of Me

This song has been playing on and on and on in my phone. Its just now, when this song became popular again, that I read through the lyrics and felt like correlating the things happening in my married life. Well, its a positive outlook and pretty much what I want to say to her. Cheezy as it is, I also had the chance of singing this to her face last night while trying to get some sleep, it seem like im drunk with mixed up lyrics and tune (hehe) but i meant the song well and I think it made her smile. So this one goes to HER...

We were as one, babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free, yeah
So I'm letting you fly
'cause I know in my heart, babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave, girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably,
You'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart, babe
Our love will never end, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back, girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh, oh
I know that you'll be right back, baby
Oh baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my, my baby

(You'll always be a part of me)
You will always be
(I'm part of you indefinitely
(Girl, don't you know you can't escape me)
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
(And we'll linger on)
We will linger on
(Time can't erase a feeling this strong
(No way, you're never gonna shake me
(Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby)

Always be my baby...

And then there was the "Hi"

We have been more than ok for the past few days now. I noticed how she wants me to feel loved (at least that's what i think). We went to several places here and there, and she was very vocal about how happy we were as a family. But then, all of a sudden, this "hi"came out of nowhere. Why does he have to do that? After hurting her so much, after bearing the pain of her suffering, how dare him enter our picture again. I was all blank and started worrying of course. This was the one she was waiting for weeks ago, when we was crying on my shoulder and i was hurting to hear every bit of her heart break with that guy.

It took a while before we talked about it, actually a night passed. I told myself, I don't want to keep quiet about it and sulk myself in despair thinking of what ifs again. In a happier mood, she reassured me not to worry. She told me that she'd rather be with me than with him right now and that she's getting better. I was happy with her reaction, although I know its possible for her to let him into her life again, I just hope she'll end up with us now. I didn't also took this easily, I know she would disagree but I still texted him, more politely now.

"I would appreciate if you could continue to stay away from us. I don't know if getting in touch with her will make our situation better now."

Deep inside I want to shout at him with all the profanity I could think of, but then again, its really up to her to decide what she want to happen, what she wants to make her happy.

thoughts

I had great rest days this time. It however ended with these thoughts...

Do you say you are ok even when you feel its not?
Do you stop doubting even if you do not have assurance?
Do you interpret her hugs and kisses as nothing even if you liked it?

Where do we go from here?

after knowing how much you love him
should i still be at your side waiting?
im not sure if i can ease your pains
but i guess ill just be here even if im hurting

you know, i hate to hear his name
it tells me of how less of a man i am
reminding the things i could not give
of the love and magic he can only bring

nonetheless, i will be a friend for you
the one who can be by your side
lends a strong shoulder to lean on
and hugs you tight if you cry

i am a broken guy with low self esteem
still struggling with acceptance
but deep in my heart i still believe
we can still be together, as one FAMILY

Bakit ko lab si NMI?

Bakit ko lab ko si NMI? Minsan mahirap sagutin kapag tinanong sayo ng harapan, pero pag inalala mo yung bagay na napagdaanan niyo, mahaba haba ang magagawang listahan ng mga dahilan. At ito na nga sila...

1. Maganda. Ako na ang magbubuhat ng bangko niya dahil kilala ko rin (humigit kumulang) ang mga nabighani ng kanyang kagandahan. Kahit nung buntis sya, maganda pa rin sa akin kahit lumaki ang ilong. Heheh.

2. Palaban. Kahit iyakin, masasabi mo pa rin na palaban dahil sa mga prinsipyo at katarayan niya paminsan minsan (gaano nga ba kadalas ang minsan).

3. Matalino. Ako lagi ang taga banggit sa mga kaibigan at kamag anak na number 1 sya sa batch namin at dahil dito ay lubos ko syang pinag mamalaki. Laging tagapaliwanag ng mga hindi ko maarok na kaalaman (in short, slow ako).

4. Seksi. hehehe Walang bola pero sa paningin ko sya pa rin ang seksing Noreen na nakilala ko nung magkatrabaho palang kmi. pramis! Taglay ang katangiang gusto ko sa isang chicka babes. hehe

5. Nagustuhan nya ko ng ganito na ang timbang ko. Pag payat nako, nde na daw yun ang James na nagustuhan nya, hindi ko lang sigurado pag lalo ako tumaba hehe mukang ibang usapan na yata un.

6. Simple lang ang mga hilig sa buhay. Mas magastos ako di hamak sa kanya at ngayon siya ang aking kunsensya (parang safeguard) kapag bumibili ako ng mahal. Natuto akong magtipid kahit papano at magisip bago bumili.

7. Mahilig magpayakap... sa pagtulog man, o kahit sa kotse, nakaakbay habang nagmamaneho ako. Kaya rin gustong gusto ko ang Isuzu Highlander, wala kasing pagitan ang drayber at pasahero sa harapan. hehe.

8. Mas masarap magluto kaysa sa akin. Kala ko nung naging mag asawa na kmi, ako lagi ang magluluto (ako pala ang tiga hugas ng plato hehe), yun pala may tinatagong angking galing rin sya sa pagluluto. Namana sa panonood sa mga kusinera sa bahay nila - si nanay at si ate.

9. Madisiplinang Mommy. Mas takot sa kanya si Baby Girl at siya ang madalas na tagasaway. Taga kontra din sa pang sspoil ni Daddy.

10. at higit sa lahat... isang butihing Asawa at Ina. Tagahilod ng likod ni Daddy at taga sungkit ng ingrown. Taga luto ng ketsup ispageti ni Baby Girl, hair stylist at tagalinis ng pepe (ito hindi ko kayang gawin talaga).

Aktwali, kahit wala ang mga nabanggit, masasabi ko parin na lab ko siya dahil siguro sa mga tinahak naming landasin, mga desisyon namin bilang mag asawa, sa sabay naming pagpapalaki sa anak namin at halos limang taon na pagsasama, magkasama pa rin kami hanggang ngayon, sa hirap at maraming ginhawa. (Thank you Lord)

Alabyu NMI, andito lang ako.. maghihintay sayo.